As is usually the way

Thank you for all who asked, answers from the neuro are coming. Nothing yet.

I am trying to put words to a certain amount of frustration I am currently feeling, over things that I am entirely too pragmatic to put on blog. I do actually have the ability to be pragmatic, go figure.

This is the piece of growth that I find the hardest, I think. It is completely in my character to want to make things happen NOW. This process is very slow for me. There are things that I have to just sit back and let take their course, which is maddening. When my mind is made, I tend to get it done.

In more than a few areas, my hands are tied. This is a result of decisions I’ve made throughout my life, and decisions I’ve made in the recent past and things that I have seen fit to drag my feet on. Flagging energy threatens to put me out of commission, frequently. Yet my brain is on endless loop. Go! Do! Be!

GO!!!

Yet, I can’t, just yet. While internalizing is second nature, biting my tongue is not. I can feel my inner self pushing against the walls of my outer self. My skin itches under the strain of wanting to break open and to let me grow. Or explode. Whichever.

So much for being graceful in the process.

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